Tagranpig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish penguin.

Tagranpig created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagranpig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tagranpig, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tagranpig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tagranpig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Worship no other gods but Tagranpig.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing indigo stockings and balancing nine silver spheres on your neck.

5. Always obey Tagranpig's priests.