Metdavlik Citsisyartmumbemsand is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage fly.

Metdavlik Citsisyartmumbemsand created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metdavlik Citsisyartmumbemsand, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Metdavlik Citsisyartmumbemsand, it will turn you into a plant.

Metdavlik Citsisyartmumbemsand's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Metdavlik Citsisyartmumbemsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never feed nuts to sharks while wearing ear rings.

4. Do not keep eight seals in a large pit.

5. Do not stand on grass.