Negquillgut is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast aardvark.

Negquillgut created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Negquillgut, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Negquillgut, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Negquillgut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Negquillgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Negquillgut loves snakes, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat corn.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about black holes.