Vannelfag is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, slow whale.

Vannelfag created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Vannelfag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vannelfag, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Vannelfag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vannelfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to mice while wearing gray scarves.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never feed spinach to whales while wearing ear rings.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never paint your back yellow.