Litnatquam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, uncaring hedgehog.

Litnatquam created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Litnatquam, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Litnatquam, he will turn you into a mole.

Litnatquam's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Litnatquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back white.

2. Worship no other gods but Litnatquam.

3. Always look after injured horses.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Erect three iron sculptures of Litnatquam on top of important buildings.