Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, slow pigeon.

Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep, it will turn you into a duck.

Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Cimxemquat Sanrakcibcep on top of all buildings.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near voles while wearing indigo skirts.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.