Betflanstafruttcut is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering weasel.

Betflanstafruttcut created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betflanstafruttcut, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Betflanstafruttcut, she will not care at all.

Betflanstafruttcut's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Betflanstafruttcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near sharks while wearing yellow shorts and balancing nine zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Never paint your neck gray.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Do not kill tortoises.

5. Never play with disobedient children.