Wadzakcun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, ruthless hamster.

Wadzakcun created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadzakcun, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wadzakcun, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wadzakcun's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Wadzakcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Wadzakcun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.