Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awesome fairy.

Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess, it will manifest in front of you.

Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Nuttdogstik Ponlagbess on top of all buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not make images of living things.