Metbompom is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, impressive walrus.

Metbompom created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Metbompom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Metbompom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Metbompom's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Metbompom's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metbompom.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.