Quilldapbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, merciful scorpion.

Quilldapbonk created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Quilldapbonk, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quilldapbonk, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quilldapbonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Quilldapbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers in need.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Quilldapbonk.

3. Quilldapbonk loves geese, so they must be honoured.

4. Quilldapbonk loves birds, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed lots of lemons to great tits while wearing orange kilts.