Pangomjipfub is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, emotional giraffe.

Pangomjipfub created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangomjipfub, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pangomjipfub, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pangomjipfub's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Pangomjipfub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Retreat if six monkeys approach from the north.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.