Bincapwap is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, annoying elephant.

Bincapwap created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bincapwap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bincapwap, he will remove you from existence.

Bincapwap's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bincapwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Fast once a month.