Jonpogkon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty rat.

Jonpogkon created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jonpogkon, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jonpogkon, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Jonpogkon's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Jonpogkon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never feed lots of lemons to frogs while wearing black scarves.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.