Fodfudmad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate jaguar.

Fodfudmad created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodfudmad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fodfudmad, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fodfudmad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fodfudmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. You must pray to Fodfudmad three times a day.