Zogtadsad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, ill-tempered swallow.

Zogtadsad created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zogtadsad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zogtadsad, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Zogtadsad's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Zogtadsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of eagles.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Pray towards the east.