Dubkabvan Hugtadkancussflamarnvan Mapdobsomcunfligvegwonlat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, charitable hummingbird.

Dubkabvan Hugtadkancussflamarnvan Mapdobsomcunfligvegwonlat created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubkabvan Hugtadkancussflamarnvan Mapdobsomcunfligvegwonlat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dubkabvan Hugtadkancussflamarnvan Mapdobsomcunfligvegwonlat, he will cry a lot.

Dubkabvan Hugtadkancussflamarnvan Mapdobsomcunfligvegwonlat's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Dubkabvan Hugtadkancussflamarnvan Mapdobsomcunfligvegwonlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snails with great respect.

2. Never think about optics near whales while wearing purple ear rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your legs.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never mention moths.