Gum is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking hamster.

Gum created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gum, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gum, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gum's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gum's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gum.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always wear green.