Vilgebnutt Farsafrutt Tabzigquim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, wise clam.

Vilgebnutt Farsafrutt Tabzigquim created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilgebnutt Farsafrutt Tabzigquim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vilgebnutt Farsafrutt Tabzigquim, he will turn you into a rock.

Vilgebnutt Farsafrutt Tabzigquim's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Vilgebnutt Farsafrutt Tabzigquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never sit in the presence of swans.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about comets.