Lannelstig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless goblin.

Lannelstig created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lannelstig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lannelstig, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lannelstig's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lannelstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to frogs while wearing violet boots.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Always obey Lannelstig's priests.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Pray towards the west.