Pasyattsin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast dolphin.

Pasyattsin created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasyattsin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pasyattsin, he will turn you into a rock.

Pasyattsin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Pasyattsin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Pasyattsin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not keep four dogs in a large pit.

5. Fast once a month.