Gempiblim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awe-inspiring crab.

Gempiblim created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gempiblim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gempiblim, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gempiblim's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gempiblim's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of turtles.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.