Femvabsak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unselfish walrus.

Femvabsak created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Femvabsak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Femvabsak, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Femvabsak's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Femvabsak's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Femvabsak.

2. Never wear shoes.

3. Never feed carrots to gulls while wearing green ear rings.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Never eat rice.