Zoglencet is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring warg.

Zoglencet created humankind two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zoglencet, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zoglencet, he will turn you into a snail.

Zoglencet's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zoglencet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of lentils to frogs while wearing purple coats.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Worship no other gods but Zoglencet.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing violet rings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Never sit in the presence of turtles.