Tuntikrap is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, proud wolf.

Tuntikrap created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tuntikrap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tuntikrap, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tuntikrap's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tuntikrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never sprint in the presence of badgers.

5. Learn three new languages a year.