Queegmumapptit is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, self-assured jackal.

Queegmumapptit created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegmumapptit, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Queegmumapptit, he will not invite you to parties.

Queegmumapptit's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Queegmumapptit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.