Bankom Flywatmet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, resourceful aardvark.

Bankom Flywatmet created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bankom Flywatmet, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bankom Flywatmet, it will turn you into a rock.

Bankom Flywatmet's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bankom Flywatmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not take Bankom Flywatmet's name in vain.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.