Goncunstig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable shrew.

Goncunstig created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Goncunstig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Goncunstig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Goncunstig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Goncunstig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Goncunstig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Never write about asteroids.