Fonhadbif is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, conceited troll.

Fonhadbif created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fonhadbif, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fonhadbif, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fonhadbif's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Fonhadbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five frogs in a large pit.

2. Always help sick shrews.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never sing in the presence of rats.