Fungupbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, grumpy porpoise.

Fungupbonk created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fungupbonk, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fungupbonk, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Fungupbonk's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fungupbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing brown rings and balancing seven nickel spheres on your feet.

2. Always help otters in need.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fungupbonk.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.