Ruttarboss Lipjinpak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful giraffe.

Ruttarboss Lipjinpak created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttarboss Lipjinpak, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ruttarboss Lipjinpak, he will turn you into a worm.

Ruttarboss Lipjinpak's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Ruttarboss Lipjinpak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.