Xenkipgansug is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing dog.

Xenkipgansug created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenkipgansug, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xenkipgansug, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Xenkipgansug's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Xenkipgansug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near frogs while wearing cyan trousers and balancing six nickel spheres on your head.

3. Snails are not to be trusted.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not sit in public.