Pigfubmethap is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonourable penguin.

Pigfubmethap created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigfubmethap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pigfubmethap, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pigfubmethap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pigfubmethap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Pigfubmethap loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Pigfubmethap on top of all buildings.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Worship no other gods but Pigfubmethap.