Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, clever parrot.

Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Disslabmin Pagsogpit Kemnatran in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always take life seriously.