Barnvenmaparm is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, merciless toad.

Barnvenmaparm created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Barnvenmaparm, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Barnvenmaparm, it will turn you into a sheep.

Barnvenmaparm's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Barnvenmaparm's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Run away if three sharks approach from the east.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Barnvenmaparm.