Bodlapnat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, irritating crab.

Bodlapnat created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodlapnat, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bodlapnat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bodlapnat's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bodlapnat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Run away from purple sheep, for they are unholy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always take life seriously.