Ceprilcapmeg is a god.
It takes the form of an extremely fat, fast
tapir.
Ceprilcapmeg created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Ceprilcapmeg, it will make you immortal.
If you do not believe in
Ceprilcapmeg, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.
Ceprilcapmeg's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.
Ceprilcapmeg's Holy Commandments1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
2. Do not stand on grass.
3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.
4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.
5. Fast once a month.