Ceprilcapmeg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fast tapir.

Ceprilcapmeg created the planet Mars four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceprilcapmeg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ceprilcapmeg, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ceprilcapmeg's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ceprilcapmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

5. Fast once a month.