Jadyarpmob is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless fish.

Jadyarpmob created matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadyarpmob, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jadyarpmob, he will manifest in front of you.

Jadyarpmob's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Jadyarpmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Never chant in the presence of swans.