Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, flying monkey.

Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat, it will laugh at you.

Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rulfenapp Gebtomkemlat.