Matzakflat is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, uncaring dove.

Matzakflat created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matzakflat, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Matzakflat, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Matzakflat's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Matzakflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must pray to Matzakflat nine times a day.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Matzakflat in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Matzakflat.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.