Rigloopjam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sapient rhinoceros.

Rigloopjam created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigloopjam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rigloopjam, she will turn you into a mouse.

Rigloopjam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Rigloopjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to nematodes while wearing pink coats.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.