Xenflabarmhanvidquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, benevolent faun.

Xenflabarmhanvidquaf created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenflabarmhanvidquaf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xenflabarmhanvidquaf, it will turn you into a puffin.

Xenflabarmhanvidquaf's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Xenflabarmhanvidquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about squirrels.

4. Xenflabarmhanvidquaf loves mice, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.