Yikwitpon is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, benevolent jackal.

Yikwitpon created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Yikwitpon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yikwitpon, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yikwitpon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yikwitpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.