Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, weak chinchilla.

Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat, he will manifest in front of you.

Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine birds approach from the north.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near monkeys while wearing pink tights.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Latdutcabpiblamtapboss Tapjonquat.

5. Never play with disobedient children.