Bonkmitarn is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, benevolent chinchilla.

Bonkmitarn created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkmitarn, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bonkmitarn, he will turn you into a mole.

Bonkmitarn's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bonkmitarn's Holy Commandments

1. Bonkmitarn loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not keep three porpoises in a large pit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

5. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.