Yattcaddob is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent bear.

Yattcaddob created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattcaddob, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yattcaddob, he will refuse to believe in you.

Yattcaddob's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Yattcaddob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.