Padliplatarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable finch.

Padliplatarn created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padliplatarn, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Padliplatarn, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Padliplatarn's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Padliplatarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not take Padliplatarn's name in vain.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never wear brown hats.