Shavbaptig is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome shrew.

Shavbaptig created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Shavbaptig, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Shavbaptig, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Shavbaptig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Shavbaptig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Feed all hungry snails.