Tonflabnur is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking hydra.

Tonflabnur created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonflabnur, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonflabnur, she will remove you from existence.

Tonflabnur's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tonflabnur's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Tonflabnur loves eagles, so they must be respected.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Hide from black nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.