Lopstafvad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, amazing newt.

Lopstafvad created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopstafvad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lopstafvad, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Lopstafvad's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Lopstafvad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo cats, for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Never feed peas to capybaras while wearing cyan boots.